Often in life we get hit with set backs. These set backs are merely tests. I believe they separate the good from the great and make us who we are.
It's only natural to throw your hands in the air and say you don't care anymore and just give up. But if it's something you truly want and desire you will move past that and find a way.
In my case I want happiness. (Don't we all!) They say money can't buy happiness but when you don't exactly have a circle of friends or a happy family environment, money does actually buy happiness. Having a successful business makes me happy, taking photos makes me happy and so do cars, especially driving them. And all this costs money doesn't it? So when I don't have any money does that mean I'm sad, well yes it does. It makes me depressed, upset and question what I'm doing wrong. This self doubt and unhappiness creates tension within the soul and also creates tension between Ash and myself, my happy family, my friend. So when we are unhappy what is there?
This is where one needs to have the mindset to push past all these desires and realise that what we want doesn't have to be delivered right away. We can work each day to make next month successful and create a happy moment for later. Why rush, why does everything need to happen now!?!
After my life and financial situation changed 3 years ago I had to put most of these wants aside, the biggest one was drifting, I chose to pay back my debts and spend my "play money" on the business and travelling around Australia for events. I did this with the hope that the business would soon pay for my pleasures. This didn't quite work out the way I had planned, but is slowly getting there! So to reward myself for my efforts I decided to renew my cams licence and attend a drift night, and now a month later I attended another drift day! Did I have the money to, probably not, should I have been so selfish, probably not. But sometimes we need to, we need to live with an attitude that hard work does indeed deserve rewards.
Last week I posted a comment back to someone saying "sorry no money" that was returned with "how? You would have surely sold all those limited edition Daigo canvases" ($15,000 worth). Well truth be told no, I sold two! Yes two! One to my best friend from primary school who I haven't seen in nearly 10 years, one to a client and we also had a free one drawn out in our give-away. So we ordered a test canvas to see size and quality, we were so happy with the quality of the work we decided to go bigger at no extra cost to the customer. They arrived and looked retarded. They were not to my standard and came out blotchy. I had a week long meltdown and a big why me! I try to do something nice, I always give back and always get fucked over. Seeing the canvases every morning instantly put me down, so on our day off we got out of the house, away from the canvases and headed out to the beach, somewhere completely different to my Blue Mountains backyard and explored Sydney's coastline and the Royal National Park for some much needed laughs.
In a state of tranquillity and with a much clearer mind I put my big girl pants on, contacted my 3 patiently waiting clients and explained the gut wrenching situation. I decided to re-order the original size (ANOTHER 3 week wait!) and include the blotchy ones for free as a shed piece as they admittedly looked good from far, as well as a complimentary sticker pack to say sorry. Thankfully my clients have been amazing and were happy to wait!
I went to order these prints from my original company BUT I had now waited that 1 emotional week too long and they were shutting for the holiday period 'til mid January which meant they wouldn't arrive until February! I had to make the big decision again, I decided to try another company with the enormous fear that the quality would not be any good and I would have to try another, putting me more and more in the red financially but even worse making my poor clients wait even longer!... Luckily the new canvases arrived within a week and were of better quality then the original company. So I take it as a good lesson, I now have a company who delivers faster and are of a better quality!
With high hopes from the canvases I had also placed a $400 sticker order last month, which again, I wasn't in the position to purchase but another moment of, if not now then when?
Exact same feeling with my gimbal... I was supposed to upgrade my camera gear, buy a gimbal, replace my broken macbook and pay off some debts with the profits from the canvas sales. But now with those actually costing me money I was in another bad state mentally. And again decided to reward myself and find a way! With the hopes that this gimbal can help us step up a level and generate more money I have decided to save a bit from my pay each fortnight for the last two months and can finally purchase one this Thursday! To tell the truth I feel guilty as! The bank and Optus aren't too happy with me but so be it. We aren't all born lucky, we aren't all born into wealth with happy loving families. We don't all have support. And often I find people only see my "successes" and become jealous and feel they don't need to support me and that I have it good enough already.
I guess I write these blogs to let you in on the real life struggles, and to motivate you to push on, if I can, you can!
I'm not going to feed you with nonsense bullshit taken from the motivation 101 book or tell you to change your life and live a certain way to be happy. I'm just sharing real life experiences to help you realise that we all have day to day struggles and there are ways to move past them, and for each of us those ways will differ but in my opinion to be happy you need to be brave, accepting and motivated to achieve what you want. Most of the time for me acceptance is the key to happiness, accept it, don't beat yourself up over it and move on. Learn! Try again!
But most of all, reward yourself... Buy yourself something nice here and there, go somewhere nice and do something different, shake it up a bit. And you don't need everything now, today, last week. We have time! Enjoy today's journey...