Let me get this one straight right from the word go. I am not bagging Ash out in any way whatsoever I am merely stating that photography is not his passion and therefore I understand it's harder for him to be involved and committed 110% like I am.
So most believe we are a team, yes we are a team because I make it that way and always have. But to be truthful I am the motivated, passionate photographer who could spend every minute taking photos, making videos and going to events. Yes Ash likes cars and events but he also enjoys admiring, checking out the cars and talking with owners and friends. I call him my social butterfly...
I don't expect him to be as passionate as me but when he comes home everyday complaining about his job and how we never have money, and I mention photography and the fact we can work a couple jobs a week and earn both our weekly wages, he's all in, keen as keen. Leading up to an event I go through what I expect, what I want to achieve, this photo that photo, I want to shoot a video including this that and them, well that's great! He's keen, pumped up and all for it which excites me and in turn makes me even more excited to see what we can achieve with high expectations. THEN we get to the event day, he either doesn't want to go (which instantly deflates my motivation and affects my creative side, affecting my photography), or simply turns up takes photos on his phone and we go home with no content, and end up in a disagreement because I'm now sitting on the computer editing and ignoring him while pumping out content under both our names for everyone to comment great work Jaz and Ash... I've never distinguished who shoots what, everything goes under both our names.
Now this isn't every event, Ash can take a really good photo and has a great eye for photography. At DCA events he really becomes passionate and provides great content! Probably too much content sometimes haha especially considering I am the editor, (he doesn't know how to import, sort, edit, save or upload albums of photos/video). So after a 3 day event we take 1,000 photos a day each, I'm left with 5-6,000 photos and video footage to sort through, process and edit, make a video and do a write up, as well work full time, be a wife and have some down time to myself. This becomes very stressful at times. Especially when a message comes through addressed to Ash enquiring about photos, or when people share photos giving him the credit.
I have often contemplated just accepting the fact that it's a one man show and put all my focus into my own career, not our career. But then that means leaving him behind. Attending events without him and potentially travelling the world without him... I don't like the sound of that one bit though. And when I mention it to Ash he feels bad and promises me he's in this 100% and will step up.... But doesn't, the next event comes, same process in planning what we want to achieve and I come home feeling like we failed...again! (this has gone on for several years now).
So this post is hopefully going to do two things.
1: Push Ash to realise he is my partner in life and business and that to me, this is business not a hobby, I aim to have us working full time for Still Motion Media travelling the world. And by publicly stating the behind the scenes situation it may be the kick in the butt he always asks for as my kick in the butt isn't working anymore and I need to focus my attention and passion on the business and creating rad content, not driving him to become passionate.
2: Help people understand I am not lazy, I am extremely passionate, I do want to attend your events and come shoot your car and you should book in shoots with me because it is truly my passion. I only ever say no and put things off due to "keeping the peace" and not dragging Ash everywhere and not wanting to leave him behind either. If it's his day off I can't expect him to be excited to get up at 4am for a shoot, I can't expect him to be up before sunrise for an event and stay till sunset to capture those precious photos and do it all again the next day, sometimes 3 days in a row. I also don't feel right heading out late at night or out early morning with other guys (as majority of people with nice cars are guys and 50% of them are single) and coming home on a high from a rad night out with other guys isn't the greatest for Ash to hear and makes it hard to just go do it without him...Come home and ignore him while I edit...
Would I be more successful if I was a single "car girl", or even pretended on social media that Ash didn't exist?
Would people support and like me more because they think they have a chance to be with me? Or to get my attention for that 1 second by sharing, liking and commenting on my work? The sad truth is YES, yes I would get more "attention" or "work" if I were single or we pretended Ash didn't exist but that's not right is it???
I also want to take this moment to apologise if your photos take time to be edited, but after being at a shoot on our day off and coming home to be glued to my computer for a couple hours more, let's just say doesn't do any favours for us as a couple. I need to remember that we are indeed a couple in a relationship, and Ash loosing his dad to cancer a few years back, he is very set on "life is too short and should be spent with the ones you love" which is more than understandable.
I guess it's trying to find that balance, accepting each others roles, their passion and making that time for one another and enjoy it as a couple. The key word in all of that is balance. We can discuss business, plans and our issues but then once it's a certain time, no more business talk, no more editing it's time to put down the laptop, put down the phone and plan a day out, plan a holiday, and enjoy each others company.
Being in business with your partner is something different. You can expect more from them guilt free, you can take out your frustration on them and blame them guilt free. You can treat them completely different to what you would a business partner. But then that could be my problem, rather then see Ash my business partner I need to remember it's my business, my passion, my career and he can be my helper. That way I don't expect anything from him but rather appreciate the help he decides to give when he decides to give it.
I don't think anyone will be as passionate as me when it comes to cars, photography and media. I just want to give give give, see more, do more, photograph, film and write more! I've never been one to expect anything back. I hate taking money from clients, I feel so guilty taking payments and it took many years to set up a "business" that charges money, I was happy doing things for the love not the likes back before social media days...
Some people are driven by money and popularity and some by sheer passion!
Maybe I need to start paying Ash or "bribe" him if you know what I mean ;) ;)
Either way I wouldn't want to be on this journey with anyone else. It's not easy reaching the 10 years together milestone, it's not easy running a business together, but we make it work and will keep trying to find our balance!